


happier

by standsinthetrees



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alive Georgie Denbrough, Alternate Universe - No IT (King), Depression, Drinking, F/F, IM FORGETTING SO MUCH, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Lowercase, M/M, OH MAJOR ONE, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, REDDIE IS A SIDE SHIP, Regret, Rejection, So many more tags, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Underage Drinking, YALL DONT EVEN KNOW, actually im not sorry at all, i d k if you can even read half these tags, i love putting my actual favorite character through so much pain, im so sorry this is so depressing, jk, lmao i am so depressing, nothing is happy about this, possible ooc, possible sequel?, takes place mostly when they are 20-21?, this is hella depressing, welp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 03:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13309089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/standsinthetrees/pseuds/standsinthetrees
Summary: "But my darling, I am still in love with you"- Ed Sheeran





	happier

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LOOK AT THE TAGS!!! IT IS SO SO SO SO SO SOOO IMPORTANT!  
> I HAVE A FAN CAST YOU GUYS! PLEASE CONSIDER THESE PEOPLE AS YOUR LOSERS!
> 
> stan - troye sivan  
> bill - dane deehane  
> bev - annalise basso  
> ben - evan peters  
> mike - khalid  
> richie - ezra miller  
> eddie - timothee chalamet  
> audra - highkey wanna say natalia dyer  
> georgie - perhaps max charles?

_Walking down 29th and park_

_I saw you in another's arm_

_Only a month we've been apart_

_You look happier_

  
stanley uris was going for a walk. everything in his stupid apartment reminded him of his love, his stupid love. he realized he couldn’t control his love. he needed this walk.

of course it would be on 29th and park, where stanley almost fell off his love’s bike and realized he was in love, he would see his love. his love laughing, smiling, enjoying himself with her. william denbrough was walking with beverly marsh. the brunette has his arm around the shorter redhead. stanley felt rage and jealousy rip through him. he wasn’t mad or angry at beverly, no he was confused. he had nothing against the redhead, but against the concept of her herself. he needed a drink.

 

  
_Saw you walk inside a bar_

_He said something to make you laugh_

_I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours_

_Yeah, you look happier, you do_

  
  
stanley was walking to the bar. he couldn’t help but notice that so were beverly and william. he slowed down his walking pace so he wouldn’t have to be near his love. it’s been a month since he last talked to either william or beverly. he was okay with that... maybe. he saw william hold beverly close to himself as they hurried down the street to the bar. something was whispered into beverly’s ear, and she laughed so loud stanley could hear her from where he was standing. stanley grimaced.

  
he had no control over that grimace. it happened naturally. he walked away from that bar, he’ll drink later. **he’ll drink when he won’t have the reason why in front of him**.

  
  
_Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

_But ain't nobody love you like I do_

  
two years ago  

  
  
“georgie? is bill here?” stanley said slightly confused as to why george answered the door.

  
“oh yeah he’s in his room.” georgie said as he hugged stan and let the older in. stan moved inside quickly before taking his shoes off and shifted them around three times. georgie wasn’t phased by that as he closed the door and made sure to lock and unlock the door three times as well. stanley made his way up to william’s room. he knocked three curt times. william knew exactly who was on the other side of his bedroom door.

  
“you can cuh-cuh-come in.” william’s stutter was getting better; he now only stuttered on one or two words in a few sentences.

  
stanley walked in and closed the door. “hi” he breathed out.

“did you run a marathon?” william joked around as stanley felt his heart begin to race as if he had.

“i don’t think i have the stamina or will to do so.” stanley said quickly and dryly as a comeback.

william chuckled, and he kept a smile on his face. “what’s up stan?”

stanley took a deep breath in. “i like you bill.” he said it. he said it out loud TO william. he’s been holding this in since he was 10.

“i like you to stan?” william said clearly confused. he didn’t realize what stanley really meant.

“no bill, i like like you. i think i might even be in love. i have since i was 10.” stanley said quickly but slowly enough for william to hear and understand.  
william sat there for a little bit. he was trying to process what stanley had just revealed. they were 18; stanley’s been in love with him for eight whole years? but why? william isn’t that special; he was just a normal boy like the rest of the losers. the biggest issue of this whole situation is

“stan...” william started speaking but he trailed off thinking of how he would respond. “i like you, but not like that.”

“oh.” stanley said curtly. “that’s fine.” and with that stanley turned around to leave.

“stan.” william said loud and harsh enough to make stanley stop in his tracks and stop closing the door. he re-entered the room and closed the door again. “you can’t just drop this bomb on me and not expect me to say anything about it.”

“yes i can and guess what i’m doing.” stanley said close to tears at this point.

“why the fuck did you tell me this? now?” william asked. he did have a good point. the two of them were going to college, both far away from each other. william was going to chicago and stanley to new york city.

“because i couldn’t hold it in any longer. it wouldn’t hurt as much if i knew you knew. i was wrong. it hurts even more now.” stanley said as he turned around so his back was facing william.

“what the fuck stan? what the fuck? you still didn’t have to say it.” william said, anger clearly abundant in his voice.

“what makes you think you have the right to be angry about this? huh bill? ever stop to think how i’ve felt? how any of us losers felt?” stanley said. he felt as if he no longer had a filter on his mouth, and he was just spouting things he never meant. “have you ever stopped to do that? it’s always about you. the great william denbrough.”

“fuck you stanley.” william said clearly pissed off at this point. “you think you can just waltz right in, confess your love, and then get fucking pissed at me? what the fuck is your problem?”

“you are.” stanley spat out. “you are my biggest problem william.”

“get the fuck out of my room, my family’s house, and my fucking life.” william said.

“gladly.” stanley said as he left the room, got his stuff, said bye to george, and left the denbrough house. he vowed that day, he won’t come back unless william decides a certain jewish boy can.

 

 

_Promise that I will not take it personal, baby_

_If you're moving on with someone new_ _  
_

_'Cause baby you look happier, you do_

 

  
that night stanley thought about everything. he thought about what he’d said to william that night he confessed. he thought about where he went wrong. he thought about everything leading up to that moment. he thought about how he felt it was right, but it wasn’t.  then he thought about beverly. what did she have that made her catch the attention of a william denbrough. was it because she was gorgeous? was it because she was real? she doesn’t have ocd? or she was a girl?

stanley didn’t know what to do. he couldn’t forever hold william accountable. stanley made mistakes too. he made a lot of them. he knew that even if he hadn’t confessed, something bad would have happened between him and william. stanley realized that he could no longer keep william happy even if he tried. eventually, william would get sick of stanley, just like stanley felt like everyone did. everyone will get rid of the curly-haired boy one day.  
  
it was decided at that moment, stanley should let everyone kick him to the side, and he won’t mind. **in fact, no one would care to see him go.**

 

 

_My friends told me one day I'll feel it too_

_And until then I'll smile to hide the truth_

_But I know I was happier with you_

 

  
  
four days after william and stanley had their fall out 

  
richard had been at stanley’s house since school ended to finish an ap psychology project. richard noticed a strange vibe (could he call it a vibe? he didn’t even know) between stanley and william. the two used to be so close, but all of a sudden they acted like strangers. richard tozier would find out what happened, and he would be the first loser to figure out what happened. funny enough, this project would be the very thing to help him find out what happened.

“stan, do tell good old trashmouth why your emotions have changed since we last worked on this project a week ago?”

“why do you want to know?” stanley said as he glued a piece of paper to their project board.

“you just somehow angrily glued the piece of paper that says ‘anger’ onto the board.” richard said with a hint of amusement in hopes to lighten stanley’s mood.  
all it did however, was open the floodgates to stanley. all of a sudden, the boy who was good at hiding his emotions was crying. richard has no idea what to do, so he immediately wrapped his arms around stanley. richard whispered hopefully calming words such as “i’m right here” and “let it all out.” and boy did stanley let it out. he told richard about the pining, the revelation he had when he realized he loved william, the internalized homophobia, how he finally came to terms with himself, the truth spilling, the harm he did to his and william’s relationship. all of that came right out, and stanley couldn’t stop the words from spilling out like he couldn’t stop his tears. and richard just held him and listened. for once, the trashmouth was left speechless.  
  
eventually all of the losers figured out what happened, either stanley or william told them what happened, they heard bits and pieces from rumors, or just put two and two together. the losers however never pressed william and stanley to communicate or do anything else with each other. the two of them both didn’t know if they should be thankful or enraged.

the losers all seem to know how hard the way william treated stanley. if anyone noticed anything, it would be michael. michael saw the way it hurt like no one else except for richard saw. michael didn’t even have to talk to stanley to see the true hurt.

one day he pulled stanley to the side and said, “pain’s a bitch, but you have to deal with it until time hurts. the gash... he left was deep and big and hurt too many important parts of you. time and love from other will heal it. you have to be patient and accepting, forgiving and trusting. now is not the time to build up walls. let us help you stan. we’re here for you.”

stanley almost began crying, but he did give michael a tight and brief hug.

“ **i love you mike.** ”

“ **love you too.** ”  
  
every time he hung out with the losers after that, stanley seemed to frown less and smile a bit more. **they didn’t know he was faking it.**

 

 

_Sat in the corner of the room_

_Everything's reminding me of you_

_Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself_

_You're happier, aren't you?_

 

  
two days after the bar incident 

  
today, william brought beverly to a loser hangout. it wasn’t fair, really. beverly marsh got along beautifully with the losers. she seemed to fill a missing piece in everyone, hell even stanley. he couldn’t find himself hating beverly at all. he instead found himself hating himself more. of course william didn’t chose him, beverly was clearly greater. beverly already got along with richard and his trashmouth, knew how to avoid things with edward, make benjamin flustered, and make michael smile. she knew how to make stan hate himself. she didn’t mean it intentionally. she was just so amazing, that stan couldn’t help but see himself as nothing compared to beverly. this enigmatic redhead with a never ending hyper-yet-calm energy.

what losers hang out wasn’t complete without alcohol. the losers were surprised when stanley wasn’t the first to get drunk, in fact it was edward. stanley had nursed two beers throughout the whole night leaving him awfully sober, while the others awfully drunk.

his sober self found himself thinking about everything. of course william is happier. he doesn’t have to deal with stanley’s bullshit anymore. he doesn’t have to deal with ocd tendencies. william is free with a stellar girl who had a beautiful outside and an even prettier inside (personality wise of course). stanley is nothing compared to beverly. i’m not the only one who thinks that, stanley thinks. but he’s dirt wrong. but he still feels like trash, he feels like dirt. and these certain thoughts are plaguing him. maybe he needs a bath when he goes home.

 

  
_Oh, ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_ _  
_

_But ain't nobody need you like I do_ _  
_

_I know that there's others that deserve you_

 

 

two days after 

  
michael found him in his bathroom. michael found stanley uris in a bath. michael found stanley uris in a bath with pink water and red wrists. michael found stanley uris in a bath with pink water and red wrists, and the wall behind him simply said “i’m sorry” in a haunting color and font. michael still couldn’t get the image out of his head. he called 911. once the ambulance was on the way, he did some basic things, such as applying pressure on the six equal cuts, three on each arm, until they arrived. when the ambulance arrived, michael accompanied stanley to the hospital and texted the losers to “come to the hospital quickly, it’s stanley.” everyone showed up, even beverly and william. that was the most surprising. william showed the most pain and regret in his eyes.

“i-i-it’s my fuh-fuh-fault.” william said softly after a while of silence. “i’m th-th-the reason he’s h-here.”

“don’t be ridiculous, bill.” edward said.

“i’m not buh-being ridi-di-di... fuck.” william said. it was understood what he wanted to say. his stutter came back because he felt himself slip back to the time he almost lost george. to the time he hurt himself and the losers.

this time, stanley hurt them all. he hurt them all more than william EVER did. and stanley was right during The Confession, all william ever did was hurt them. william never stopped to see it from the others point of view. he stopped and imagined himself in stanley’s shoes. or well, he tried. did he succeed? no he didn’t. he couldn’t do it.  
all of a sudden he felt arms wrap around him breaking his train of thought. beverly wrapped her arms around william. she moved one hand to wipe tears away from william’s face. when did he start crying? beverly kept whispering she was sorry, but for what was she sorry? she was there for him when he needed her. **she was more than enough.**

 

 

 _But my darling, I am still in love with you_ _  
_

_But I guess you look happier, you do_ _  
_

_My friends told me one day I’ll feel it too_ _  
_

_I could try to smile to hide the truth_ _  
_

_But I know I was happier with you_

 

  
  
stanley came to about two days later with all the losers by his side. when they told him that he had been out for four days and that michael had found him, stanley’s heart shattered. he didn’t want to hurt anyone else. he didn’t want to be found. he wanted to be dead. he didn’t want to be here anymore where he’ll see william and beverly together. of course, when he came to, beverly and william were holding onto each other. william looked at peace with beverly, even though he was highly disturbed by the fact stanley had just attempted suicide.

god did stanley want to get up and walk away. walk away from william, from beverly, from the pity glances, from the hurt in michael’s eyes. the first two and the last hurt him the most. god did it kill him slowly. he faked a small smile; however, he dropped it almost instantly. he couldn’t keep faking a smile, it hurt him to keep faking.

“i’m okay.” stanley said weakly. he didn’t mean a damn word he said. he was lying again. nothing was in order, his head, this room, the way the losers were standing. nothing was and his mind was crying out loud. his ocd and depression were waging a war in his head, and seeing what he was seeing made the war stronger.  
  
michael decided he wasn’t going to sit here idol anymore, he was going to help stanley. he needed to help stanley because the way stanley was decaying, hurt him. oh hell was michael hurting.

 

 _‘Cause baby you look happier, you do_ _  
_

_I knew one day you’d fall for someone new_ _  
_

_But if he breaks your heart like lovers do_ _  
_

_Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you_

 

a month later

  
william and beverly had been broken up for a week. that’s all that there is. beverly decided that she didn’t love william like she thought he lover her; lucky for her, william felt the same. he didn’t realize he was using beverley to hide his true feelings for someone else. no that someone else isn’t stanley, the someone else is gorgeous actor and model audra phillips. not only that, after beverly found herself finding true love in someone else. after beverly became an official loser, she found herself falling for benjamin. they in fact decided to break up with each other at the same time. they both decided mutually to end their relationship to pursue their true loves.

benjamin and michael were actually the first ones to know about anything that happened in between beverley and william. beverley personally told benjamin what happened, and william… he accidentally let it slip out that him and beverley. obviously michael asked what happened, and no one can say no to michael. he was too lovable, easy to talk to, and kept everything you wanted private actually private. michael disagreed with the fact that beverley and william wanted to keep their breakup private, but he let it go and decided it wasn’t his business anyway. eventually richard and edward found out. they figured it out when beverley began spending more time with benjamin and not with william. they grew suspicious (together because they have that couple togetherness to them… no actually edward told richard and richard had his great realization moment about it.) and confronted the two (now ex-)lovers about what was happening. beverley did the talking because she was closest to richard and knew exactly what to say to make sure the two of them didn’t accidentally blab it out.

of course, who would tell stanley what happened? no one thought to do that obviously. it would only give stanley hope, and no one wanted to crush him. and so he found out in the most painful way possible, benjamin and beverley began dating. they were openly kissing when stanley entered the hanscom household. stanley began to retreat when michael (who was the one who opened the door and let stanley in) told him what happened. michael knew at this point there was no hiding the fact that beverley and benjamin were dating now, and william was single. michael however left out the biggest catch of it all, william wouldn’t be single for long. soon enough richard and edward came stumbling through the door (once again opened by michael). it was then benjamin put in _dead poets society_ without any hesitation.

“why are we starting the movie, aren’t we waiting for bill?” stanley asked the rest of the losers. they all looked at michael wide-eyed. they all trusted michael to be the one to break the news. this was the first time in a while they heard stan actually ask about william. they all knew he still cared deeply about that man, but he stopped vocalizing it after their rift.

“stan… i don’t know how to say this. bill has a date tonight.” michael said slowly. “he has a date with audra phillips.”

and just like that, for the second time in front of richard, stanley let his floodgates open. he began to weep again,  _ dead poets society  _ became background noise. all the losers could hear was the weeping of their friend. michael quickly held stanley in his arms and whispered sweet nothings. soon the hug between stanley and michael became a huge losers hug… a hug without william.

“i guess he’s happier now.” stanley said bitterly despite his tears, but even the losers could hear the despair hidden in his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys aren't brutally sobbing. i actually cried while writing this. stanley and mike are my fave characters and also happen to make one of my otps (surprisingly the other is stenbrough). i may make a stanlon sequel where stanley actually becomes happier(!!). also i came up to this idea while listening to happier after watching the byler/mileven edit. i was like,,, HOLY SHIT IMAGINE STANLEY SINGING HAPPIER TO BILL. and then this happened.  
> shout out to desy for being my number one stan behind me writing this. i almost gave up halfway. i have never ever ever written a one shot this long/finished a one shot completely that is long.  
> and yeah! that's all i actually have to say! i hope you guys have a lovely day or night wherever you are,,, and i'm so sorry for this pain.


End file.
